How a morbidly obese girl work outs!
Jan 16, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL8Qv6DBoC0

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stand work
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Tuesday yeah we're on Tuesday Wow
this week is rambling by Oh today has
been a good start to our morning scuse
me we me and my hubby hubby worked on
some orders today and got some stuff
done and we're actually headed to the
post office to get some orders dropped
off and in the mail and oh what else did
I do I answered back all of your
messages I apologize okay I apologize
you guys that I know that it's been
taking me
you know like about 24 hours ish to get
back to you guys but definitely know
that I read all of the messages no
matter what but I get up in the morning
and then that's when I reply to
everybody cuz it's a little bit easier
to do it in the morning time because
I'll ease home and you kind of help with
the kids while I'm responding back
because to me I love concentrating on
what my messages are back to you guys
because each message is being broke by
my heart like you know I'm writing each
and every one of you guys individual
messages back and I like to put my
thoughts into it so he's really good
about helping
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he's really good about help me with the
kids because you know they want
breakfast and they want all these things
and so anyways but I just wanna let you
guys know that mainly every message that
comes through and emails I will sit in
the morning time and respond back so be
looking for your responses from here as
messages and then the phone accordions
worth of messages if that makes sense
anyways I hope that you guys are all
having a wonderful start to your guyses
Tuesday it's a beautiful day here
there's just so much that we want to get
done today cuz it's so pretty
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and we have a few things to do and it
couldn't be a better day to do it when
it's rainy because it's supposed to
start raining here at the end of this
week I think they said Friday's was to
give really beliefs
which is a bummer you like rain I don't
mean the cold if it doesn't like the
rain it's rain is just listen it went
your sticky in here just uncomfortable
but cold to me I'm told you look old
burning the cold on that day rain and
snow
no stay away so anyways so we're just
trying to get what we can't done within
the next day or two so yeah we don't
have to continue to rain and I don't
know I know that I had mentioned
yesterday that I needed to go to go to
the doctors what happened okay hold on
I'll grab it as soon as we stop okay
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okay okay you see the candy cane yeah I
know surprise they still have the
Christmas stuff up
I mentioned that I needed to go to the
doctors and get my blood work done I
don't know if I manage of it today or
from gonna do that tomorrow it just
depends on if we can fit it into our
schedule but either way I do need to
because I had the doctor call me today
well not the doctor but the nurse called
me today and say that they needed my
bloodwork done for my thyroid
so which that's why I was telling guys
yesterday with this doctor's appointment
coming up it's like a roundabout of
everything like rechecking all my levels
to see if I need any adjustments to my
thyroid pill my depression pill my
anxiety pill with those type of things
so anyways I'm going to put my phone on
that Georgia because well it's telling
me I only have 20% left so I'm gonna
throw my phone on the charger and then I
will check in with you guys in a little
bit and let you know what we are up to
and where we're at so I am sitting here
getting my blood work done they said
they can't get my blood my veins don't
want to give blood so I'm waiting to see
if somebody else can get my blood
otherwise I don't supposed to do because
nobody can get my book
they tried over here
okay you guys so yes I went to the
doctor's to get my blood work and
there's a no go took two of them to try
the first person tried and he tried he
poked me twice
and or no he poked me three times by the
time he was done and he was just like
honey I can't get it I he goes I'm gonna
have to get somebody else in here she's
he said because for some reason I'm just
not being able to get your blood so he
goes I'm gonna look like a fool but I'm
gonna go and get another one of the
phlebotomist so you ain't got her and
this one this particular person that did
my blood she does my blood every single
time I go in and she gets my veins like
that but she was really busy today so of
course I went to somebody else and so
she came in and you know went straight
to my arm that we always do and she
couldn't get it either and she moved
that thing around and she twisted and
she turned it and she tried and tried to
try and she's like Amy I'm not getting
it so after all of that and I love when
she does it because I I never hurt when
she does it like I never I can't even
feel her putting the needle in or should
I mean she'll move it around try to poke
it but it doesn't really hurt at all but
she said every time that her and the
other one
would get the needle in my vein my veins
would like suck up like dry up they're
just like nothing in there so I have to
come back tomorrow because there's just
there's no no way that they could get
the blood out of me so I was sent home
and I have to drink lots and lots a lots
and lots of water
hydrate myself in and that could
possibly be why I have been feeling
dizzy in surface from being dehydrated
so I need to put more of my water what
you told you guys I've been sucking on
the water drinkin so I'm gonna have to
just start really bumping up the water
and that way then I'll go in when I I
know when my normal is there so I'm
gonna go in when she's working and then
we'll do it again and she said she might
just have to put hot packs on my hands
and we might just have to pull it from
there but she tries not to do the hands
obviously because it hurts more but she
wanted to wait until tomorrow because
I've already been poked enough so
anyways we are now out of the doctor's
and I need to go pick up my prescription
because I have ten prescriptions at the
pharmacy and get the kiddos a little
treat because they were so good when I
was getting my my blood drove so anyways
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Oh stand Oh
we're gonna work out um so I'm gonna set
you guys here I said you guys here and
then I'm just going to because my TV is
on and I do my exercises through my TV
so what I'm gonna do is I will just edit
the music from my TV off so you guys
won't be able to hear anything because
copyright but yeah anyways okay no you
need to get your a little happy bum
dressed
let me get everything situated guys and
then I will be right back
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you
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trying to use my breath um my phone died
well I was doing it but my charger is
not working working so I'm having to
charge my phone in the car so I had to
go and have my ago get all these charger
which is hooked up here but it's really
short so I just said forget it
I finished my workout and then now I'm
sitting down to close my night high the
house a good workout I needed it I did a
little bit of sitting down they'll sit
down part that you guys seen was mainly
just stretching kind of because I do
like some sit down and then some
standing up just because I need to be
cautious of my knee I don't want to
overdo it too much so I do a lot of sit
down first to get like my blood pumping
my body moving and then I'll get up and
do a little bit of stand-up and I do
about I'll say I'll do about 10 minutes
of sit down and about 15 minutes to 20
minutes of standing up tonight I did 15
so and I said never showed up with my
water
um anyways now that I can actually talk
cuz I can breathe
alright so now that I am done doing my
workout I thought that I would go over
some of my comments and my comments so
now that I've got done with my exercise
I thought I would go through some of my
comments on my comment section and read
a couple of them and vocal respond to
them as I have responded to some of them
in writing um I have been really busy
today so I have not been able to catch
up with everybody's comments just yet I
will don't get me wrong I will and all
he has also been like oh my gosh did you
see this person's coming oh my gosh did
you read this comment oh my gosh these
people are amazing so it's great to have
that go and I love how he he definitely
keeps up on comment reading um I would
like to have my light on kids uh anyways
step the first comment I'm gonna read I
got 11 hours ago so this was my very
first comment I opened up my laptop too
which is fine and by any means of me
reading comments out loud and I'm not
trying to pick on anybody I am not
trying to point fingers at anybody I am
NOT trying to bring attention to you
I'm just rank except this one I really
did want to read out loud and it's not
because of the person it's the message
that I received and then I want to
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respond back to that and read you guys
my response back so okay
I don't know what it was under the get
to know me get to know the boys message
our video it says from Linda Ruhr I
think Amy I am a new subscriber you need
to stop the constant talking about how
you are controlling your weight you need
you need to make a one week menu of 1500
calories you will be amazed at how much
food you can have have a cheat day I
always use Saturdays have an extra 500
calories
I lost 85 doing this diet never one time
in five months did I cheat your
beautiful family deserves a healthy
mother and your husband needs a
beautiful wife your husband does not
need to be helping you with a bath as
young as you are get with it Amy I am
going to try to keep with you I keep up
with all all you obese YouTube youtubers
and you all are constantly dieting all
all you have wonderful ideas but have
been following some for five years and
they have never lost ten pounds I have
never seen a skinny youtuber give
dieting advice your life is going to be
short if you don't do something soon so
I am going to read my response to her to
you guys and then we'll I'll talk I'll
talk a little bit more about it hey
there and welcome to my channel so I am
going to try and reply with not sounding
at all defensive to what you just said
so first of all I am NOT on a diet I am
on a life change therefore I do not
believe in cheat mills diets are for
temporary help life changes for life I
will not go down to 1,500 calories till
my dietitian tells me otherwise since
starting my journey on July 11 2008 een
I have worked hand in hand with a
nutritionist counselor and a trauma
therapist and have so far lost 72 pounds
I don't consider me having a meal that
maybe more than other mill on calories a
cheat meal because in reality in real
life you're not going to have cheat
meals they're just going to be Mills you
choose to eat within your goal of the
day of calories you a lot for yourself
my opinion and what I have been taught
by my therapist now when you come to the
comment about bathing yes I agree with
you that I am way too young to need help
but with but with my weight as an issue
yes it was needed at one time for me to
be clean and cared for but as of now I
am back to bathing myself because I have
lost enough weight to be able to take
back that responsibility I didn't enjoy
having my husband bathe me but it was a
must and my husband gladly took that on
knowing I needed the help not like I
enjoyed it my life journey is not agin a
diet I work very close with a team of
health care providers to see that I
reach my weight loss healthy and make it
a life change not temporary and I am
sorry but I know I am beautiful oh sorry
oh and I'm not trying to sound conceited
here you guys and I'm sorry but I know I
am beautiful now and also when I am
thinner I don't have to lose weight for
my husband to find me beautiful and
that's so sad that you have that
conception that weight defines your
beauty thank you for sharing your
thought and opinion and reading mine I
don't mind at all that you shared yours
that's what I love about my channel is
anyone is allowed to share what they
feel but as you
you so I so do - I hope you don't feel
like I'm being rude but I wanted to
reply to your message the best that I
could without sounding defensive because
I'm not at all upset with what you have
shared just sometimes if you're not in
the shoes of the one sharing their story
you won't fully understand we're all not
we're all not the same we all have our
own stories and deal with our eating
disorders differently as well hope
you're having a wonderful Tuesday take
care so first of all Linda I you know
and I don't even know if Linda's still
on my channel I don't know if she's on
subscribed for me since that comment I
don't I have no idea but if you're
watching Linda I appreciate your comment
like I said in my my response back to
you I don't mind people writing comments
to me I honestly I don't take anything
personal in the sense that it's going to
damage my journey that I have come so
far with everybody has an opinion and
everybody is allowed to state their
opinion on my channel I've opened up the
platform that with that however when I
open up platform I mean we're gonna be
respectful though and we're not gonna be
mean and you know disregard people's you
know feelings and things like that like
that's not what I'm saying
but everybody has an opinion and we're
all allowed to state our opinion but as
you stated your opinion I very well
think that I replied back to you as
kindly as I could because again with my
replies I always come back with a soft
heart I don't want to be one of those
that are harsh I don't believe that
being harsh is going to help somebody
understand somebody else's point of view
sometimes people believe that tough love
is the only way that you can get across
to people and that's not necessarily
true
sometimes it takes a soft heart to
approach somebody for them to fully
embrace what you're trying to say in the
message or sharing with them I don't
take what yous
harsh eye I feel like some of the words
that you chose to use were kind of sad
you know like about your husband needs a
beautiful wife
how am I not beautiful now why why am I
not beautiful now because I'm fat what
what defines beauty I'm confused I would
love to know what in your eyes defines
beauty someone has been I don't believe
that do I want to be fat do I want to be
obese do I want to be morbidly obese of
course I don't I don't because I have my
health if I could be the size I am and
know that I would live my full amount of
life with no health issues and be able
to do all the things that I want to do
with my children at this size then I'm
comfortable with where I'm at in in the
sense that I could live my life the way
I am because I feel comfortable with who
I am I know that I'm beautiful I don't
have to question that my husband has
made mean learn and have has taught me
self-love that I feel confident that
when I walk out my door I'm just as
beautiful as any other person walking on
this earth
I don't measure myself to beauty because
of my weight I used to because that's
that's the that's the thing that most
people do but it's the sad thing that
people do because beauty is so much more
than just the shape of your body and I
always wonder what do people see in a
skinny person versus a person that's fat
I don't understand it that's why I made
the video I did about the showering and
you know about the self-love and you
know things like that is you have to
love yourself first and if you're
constantly
to change yourself to measure up with
somebody else as a few of you you will
never ever ever succeed in life never
ever ever ever ever because you're never
gonna measure perfect to what they think
is perfect so you saying that you know
my husband read that comment and he
looked at me and he said wow so this
person believes that you're not
beautiful in my eyes because you're big
what gives the right to somebody to say
that and I said but that's the sad thing
about a lot of people in the world is
that again size defines what beauty and
love and that's not the way it should be
it shouldn't be that go back to my video
that I made about you know should a
morbidly obese person get married or
find true love go back and watch that
video I would love for you to listen to
that message I just spoke about all of
this I just covered this whole thing I
think there's gonna be a video coming up
about self-love because again you can't
love anything or anybody until you learn
to love yourself so if you're always
trying to change yourself to fit into
somebody else's eyes you'll never learn
to love yourself for who you are to
begin with now am I trying to change
myself yes you yeah I am I'm not trying
to change my looks I'm trying to change
my body shell my shell that I can
breathe better that I can move better
that I can you know navigate the world
easier but not because I think it's
gonna define my looks differently that
I'm not I'm not into that so that was a
little bit intriguing but you know it's
alright I you know it is what it is and
you know you can't change everybody's
concept of you know how they feel about
those type of things but you know
unfortunately I think that that's really
a part of the world that people gets
wrong is that yeah you know if you
believe that your significant other
can't love you because you're big
I don't know who you're with because
your significant others should love you
just the person you are and definitely
not try to change you like my husband
has never tried to change me he's never
said honey you're putting on weight he's
never ever ever ever said something
about my way ever to make me feel bad
does he want me to change and work on my
weight yeah he does
but for health reasons so like he said I
can live a long life with you I don't
want to lose you prematurely I don't
want my children to be raised without
their mom that's why he wants me to
change not because of him not finding me
beautiful or thinking that something
else I don't know but that just wouldn't
never even cross his mind and I have
never ever heard him ever make a comment
in fact he may he gets mad when I make a
comment about it because he wants me to
accept myself for who I am and change
yes but not because of the way he feels
about me because like I said if I could
stay the size I am but be guaranteed to
live a full life and be able to do all
the things in life that I want to do
like he said honey I wouldn't mind you
being the size you are it's not about
that it's I want you to be able to live
life the way you want to live life go
hiking with our family go on camping
trips go on traveling trips I can't do
those things right now it's getting
closer and I'm starting to be able to
see it but I'm not there yet and I want
that I desire to do those things that's
why I'm changing not because of the
defining of beauty beauty has nothing to
do with it no not at all but I think you
for your coming
um okay on to the next one uh Stacey
fully on the get to know me video just
to finished your video your kids are
extremely lucky you are a good mom oh
thank you Stacey so much I truly
appreciate that and I did message you
back I just don't know if you see
yeah so I'm just gonna message you now I
appreciate that so much and you know on
days when I feel like I'm falling short
being a good mom it's always nice to
hear that because there are days that
has moms I think we all get those days
where were just like you know after the
kids have gone to bed and we're settling
down for the night you start thinking
about your day and thinking about how
the kids were and how you reacted and oh
my gosh I put my kids to bed and I was
still a little bit upset I should have
you know I should have done things
differently today I shouldn't have
snapped so bad or whatever it might be
you know but hearing that encouragement
of hey you're a good mom that means a
lot I don't think people realize just
being told that somebody views you as a
good mom really makes you feel good and
really lets you know that okay I am
doing it right you know we're all human
there's days that my kids get under my
skin
Oh get really under my skin but it's
again it's part of being a parent and
having kids I mean we were kids one day
and I'm sure we all did annoying things
to our parents or to the people that
took care of us so it's just a flashback
from our childhood and sometimes I see
my daughter doing things that I did when
I was younger and I'm like why why why
and then I stopped and I might go shut
up because you did it too so yeah the
joys of my daughter growing up because I
know what's in the future okay so let's
see okay on the get to know me video
kitto mama she says hey girl watching
when getting ready for work I'm so glad
that I have such a morning face you like
to see and then with that same comment
she said it was pretty sad to hear your
story but it was but it's what made you
who you are our past creates us mine
wasn't the best but without it
wouldn't be me I wouldn't be me sorry I
wish we didn't have to go through the
pain and suffering on the way you're a
strong woman be proud of who you are and
stays strong on your journey I know you
got this thank you so much sweetie and
you know why I didn't even I didn't
realize you even wrote me back on that
so I'm hurting you now and I'm gonna
respond to you right this minute thank
you so much and you're you're really
right you know and that's why sometimes
people you'll say oh my god I'm so sorry
that you know you have that type of a
past and you know I wish that you didn't
go through the things that you've gone
through and seen the things that you
seem and how the things happen to you
that it happened to you and I find
myself responding a lot of times with
you know what it's okay
it's it's really okay um you know has it
taken me time to start working on
getting over things um yeah because you
know as a child I didn't have that
option I didn't have that chance I
didn't have you know trauma counseling
to where I could learn the tools to when
I'm starting to go through something
that I could see it on a different scale
as I do now because I've been going
through the therapy and I'm I'm learning
my tools that I need for when I'm going
through a really hard time now I've got
a toolbox that's getting full of
different types of tools that I can pull
out like okay I I can use this situation
right here and use these techniques that
I've learned through my therapy to get
through it and get through it in a
proper way versus before I would get
very angry and sometimes physically lash
out just you know not like beating up
somebody but you know I noticed you know
at the very very very beginning of my
marriage with Olli I remember like I
don't know probably the first year that
he had come from Egypt and you know I of
course again I was very sick during that
time mentally as in I had no help with
any of my past and I took everything
that I had learned
my past and all my hurt that was caused
on me and it was with me it was
surrounded around me so if me and him
even got into like just a disagreement
oh my gosh like I would like throw the
remote or you know scream bloody murder
and he is just like sitting there like
you did not act this way in Egypt
welcome to anyways but you know I mean
cuz that's what I was taught to do
physically acting out you know I when I
was a bad person or a bad person but a
bad child what would happen to me things
were thrown at me I was hit I had my
hair pulled
so I react the same way with okay you
you make me mad I'm going to react but
I'm gonna react in a way that's
explosive and you would just sit there
bike-o cuz he's not used to that he just
was like yeah well about that
no so and now we not I mean it really
didn't go on for very long just because
he wouldn't tolerate it like he he set
me down real quick and he was just like
I'm not gonna tolerate this you know I'm
not I didn't marry you to have this type
of a life like I can't I can't
emotionally deal with that you know
we've got to figure something out but
you exploding like you're doing I'm not
equipped to deal with that and so you
know I I stopped doing the whole
physical like chucking things across the
house and you know all that good stuff
and you know it just went to me like
just yelling yelling yelling and just
being ugly was my mouth and the things
that would just come out of it sometimes
was just like I would even be sometimes
prai's a donkey where did that just come
from because wherever came from take a
hike
you know but again it's just what I that
was what was embedded in me and so
finally when I decided to go and start
working on myself and really accepting
that I know I want to change and I want
to learn tools for when just say me and
all I get into a disagreement you know
now it's ho it's a million time
different you know every couple has a
disagreement but now it's like you know
we know if we're gonna have you know if
we feel like there might be a
disagreement conversation you know we
always come into the room together and
we shut the door that children don't
know any kind of conversation about
disagreements we keep that exit out from
our kids as hearing they don't need to
hear it they don't need to be stressing
about any type of conversation that you
know especially with Jeremiah cuz he's
getting older you know we don't want him
stressing about conversation that he's
hearing you know and we sit down and we
talk and we talk it out if it's a
conversation that we feel is getting a
little bit heated in the sense of we're
just not seeing eye-to-eye then
sometimes we will agree to just separate
for a little bit think about our
conversation that we were having and
when we both feel like we can come back
together and talk about it within that
same day we do and we always come to
agreeance of whatever it is we're
talking about
and we always both come I - I with each
other and and that's the way that it
should be and that's only because of
going through this therapy and dealing
with my trauma but also with my husband
being such a great support team and
helping me you know and he never ever
ever like gets under my skin and like
pushes my buttons cuz he knows that
makes me mad or he never does that like
he'd never intentionally does something
to see if
I'm gonna react out like you know um so
my a my I don't know where I went off
with this comment but so my response
back to that is I am I am okay with what
I went through because it has made me
now
you're right the person I am today had I
not gone through what I've gone through
I don't know where my life would be I
don't know if what type of a person I
would be today but I am Who I am today
because of my past and being able to
change those things and learn tools to
communicate and navigate through the
rest of my life that I have ahead of me
because they don't want my children to
ever ever see the things that I seen or
ever you know go into their own
marriages with the things that I had who
came into my marriage with you know I
want my children to have that backbone
of stability and you know seeing me and
their dad you know be able to work
things out and not be screaming and
yelling and cussing and putting each
other down and throwing things and you
know just that's what I grew up with and
that's what I knew so that's what I did
in my nursery so I thought that's what
we were supposed to do and he's just
sitting there like shocked because his
mom and dad never did that type of stuff
so I mean to him he was just like all
right I guess that's the way Americans
do it I'm like yep
okay this one's a short one but it's a
good one workout time with me it was
when I was standing up doing my workout
with my black jacket on it doesn't give
white dates or anything but anyways does
it no so della dub-dub near chair can
you get a sissy a baby and ice cream
um della dub near dub near I believe I
won saying your name right I love that
black jacket you have on do you remember
where you got it I did respond back to
you I don't know if you seen or not so
I'm just going to respond to you this
way yes I got the jacket from torrid and
I got it wow I want to say the last
February ish time maybe maybe a spring
time I it was the same time I got my
jean jacket and I don't remember I want
to say that might have been in April it
was before I started my journey I do
know that and so I got it at torrid and
no as far as I know they do not sell it
no more they have the exact same thing
though and it's in maroon I'm not
getting the Merlin because I don't
really wear I mean like this I couldn't
wear a maroon jacket with is it wouldn't
match I would really look like a walking
rainbow like I already do um but if they
had more black ones I would have bought
them up because I wear that jacket all
the time it is the most amazing jacket
because I'm covered but I'm still able
to like when it was summertime oh my
gosh it was a lifesaver because there
were days that it was warm and I do I
really didn't want to like wear
something with sleeves so I would put my
tank top on and put that jacket on and I
felt like I still wearing a tank top so
yeah if they do come out with that
jacket again girl I will update my
videos and I will let you know because I
will be the first at the store to buy
one if they have one I've even looked up
the brand and thought maybe I can
purchase one and off of the internet but
I finding it nowhere so yeah that is
that but anyway anywho after all of that
fun ness of talk I hope you guys enjoy
today and enjoyed watching me and Ollie
go around town um and I will take you
guys with me tomorrow to go
again I'm gonna take myself because
today it took literally I was there for
almost an hour and half I think it was
like an hour and a half and I'm just
like my babies where I was I waiting
Burbank um so I think tomorrow I'm just
gonna take myself and all he's just
gonna stay home so anyways I am in a
cold so I can go take a shower and get
ready for bed it is now nine o'clock oMG
I have been doing this for a while now
so with that being said I will check in
with you guys tomorrow bright and shiny
in the morning so cheers you guys bye
bye